Wedding Vows - How to write one to move your guests to tears
Photo courtesy of Alex & Novabelle
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1) Wedding Vows for Her, and Him
It's been humbling to witness solemnizations since 2012 as a wedding live band. Having so, we would love to share some of our thoughts on what makes the best wedding vows for her and him!
Wedding vows are the most personal, touching, and intimate elements in a Solemnization. The best of them tells a beautiful love story, makes you laugh, and sheds a tear. They are the perfect way to start a life of love, commitment, and bliss. Well-written ones can turn a simple event into an emotional and lasting memory.
Investing time in learning how to write one is as important as taking out time to pick your wedding attire and choosing your venue. It sets the tone for your wedding.
If you're stuck and want to know how to write great wedding vows for her and him, we have just the thing for you!
Do also check our article on wedding march in songs, to choose the best march-in songs for your solemnization.
2) Structure your Wedding Vow like you're telling a story
Not everyone knows how you met, so an excellent way to start is to do a short recollection of how your relationship started!
A fun way to add on will also be your first impressions of each other, and what were the things that got you attracted to one another. Was it love at first sight?
The most important part of this is to tell everyone how important your partner is to you. You'll need to put your most sincere words to your partner. Let everyone know how he/she is cherished, and means the world to you.
Some pointers to include:
How your partner completes your life
How does he/she make you a better person?
The significant challenges you faced and overcame together as a couple
What are the things he/she has done that you are grateful
What are your dreams you hope to achieve together?
Why did you choose him/her to be your life partner?
Wedding vows are promises that both of you make towards each other. Aside from the traditional wedding vows about "till death do you part", you can add on other promises. They include dreams and aspirations that you want to achieve together as a couple.
Do remember that your vow is sacred. You need to say it from your heart and mean what you say!
Photo courtesy of Yaozong & Amanda
3) Things to note when planning your Wedding Vow
Let’s discuss some of the basics you must be familiar with when writing your wedding vows in Singapore. And yes, some of these tips are uniquely applicable to Singapore, which tends to be formal, yet slightly casual!
a) Ensure your Solemnizer knows you are writing your own Vow
There are the standard ones that, if nothing is said, your solemnizer will assume you will be using it. Those are the standard ones that your solemnizer will read out for you, and you will just echo it through. That's boring. Write one yourself!
Thus, he/she must know that you are writing your own vow. It’s a great thing you are writing it yourself. It will be a lot more intimate and sincere, as compared to reading out from a ready-made one.
b) Research First. Check Wedding Vows Sample from Google
Seek advice from people of experience on how they wrote theirs'. You can also ask Google for wedding vow samples, and get inspired by some well-written ones!
Do note that when you check for samples, you should only take pointers on what to say, and not copy word for word. Copying wholesale will only make it sound unnatural and less sincere.
c) Make it easy to understand. Avoid making it Poetic.
One of the traits of a good speaker lies in whether the audience fully understands what he/she is saying.
Keep your language simple and avoid rhyming poetic vows. Doing so only makes it hard for the general audience to know what you’re saying, which defeats its purpose.
You might want to try this free service by Hemingway App, to check the difficulty of articles/essays. You can put your written vow in to see if it is easy or hard to understand. Keep its difficulty below a sixth-grader for the best results!
d) Discuss with Your Partner
It certainly does not mean that you should share a copy with them. Just discuss how personal you are keeping your vows so that surprises on the wedding day are pleasant. You want them to feel nostalgic, not awkward. Also, freeze on a template so that both of your vows sound consistent.
e) Avoid Inside Jokes
You will obviously include your personal experiences and important moments in it. However, stay away from any inside jokes that only you two understand. Save these for another time.
If you get too personal, not only will your guests be lost, you might end up embarrassing your partner.
f) Be Yourself
In a bid to look romantic, many people use flowery language or write in a way that is unlike their natural style. A perfect example of this is when someone copies wholesale on the wedding vows sample.
The problem is your discomfort with the language will be evident when you are saying it. Be succinct, write from the heart, and make it your own. Doing so will make it sound more sincere!
g) Make Real Promises you can keep. Don’t Over-Promise!
Who would you rather have? A partner who promises you the moon, or the one that promises you a simple kiss every morning?
Everyone can differentiate between a real promise and a hyperbole. Make an absolute promise that you intend to keep. Don’t over-promise anything!
h) Keep it short! It’s not a lecture.
You want to keep it in the ballpark of 15-20 lines or 1 to 3 minutes. Anything longer is only lullaby material. Be a ruthless editor, stay on point, and keep it interesting for everyone!
i) Practice & Practice & PRACTICE!
Read it out multiple times, edit it as ruthlessly as you can. Practice your tone in front of a mirror or with a friend. Make sure that you’re so familiar with your vows that when you say it, you are extremely fluent. Remember, you only have one chance in your lifetime to say it!
4) Sample Wedding Vows to Inspire You
You finally know how to write your vows. But, before you start, here are a few examples to inspire you:
1. “When I first laid eyes on you in school, I think Earth missed a rotation. It all just stopped.
I am no expert at love, but I think we have what songs talk about. Undoubtedly, I love you. But what’s odd is that you know me better than anyone else in this galaxy and still manage to love me back? Let me promise you this – You have made me the luckiest person in the world today, and I promise you that I will try my hardest to return the favour. I love you.”
2. “I have always been focused, ambitious, and driven. I know what I want. But, you confuse me. I did not know what I was feeling, why I felt it, and what to do about it.
With you, I have re-learned to dream. You give me a reason to live, and there is nothing more I want more right now than to stand here and make you mine. I never want this dream to end. And I want to share it with only you.”
3. “I cannot even imagine how my life would have turned out without you. In fact, I don’t even remember if I existed before you. You make me want to become a better person while staying by my side. You never leave me even in my worst moments, and for that, I will be forever grateful. I know in my heart – I will never stop improving because I want to be the best version of myself. After all, you deserve nothing less. I am lucky that you are mine.”
5) Make It Your Own
Don’t overthink how to write it. You have everything you need to write your wedding vows in Singapore.
Sit down, relax, and start outlining your first draft. Let your love inspire you, and these tips guide you.
You can do it!
Wishing you a lovely Solemnization and a lifetime of happiness.
On an Unrelated Note:
Live music is banned in Singapore due to COVID-19. If you're getting married and want a live band for your wedding, you can consider our Virtual Wedding Live Band. 😉