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If you’ve had the privilege of being appointed this role, you should feel very special! Fortunately, your role here isn’t quite what it used to be. Weddings are a lot different from back in the day! Believe it or not, bridesmaids were once used as decoys for the bride in case of a kidnapping!
Thank God that’s all over with!
Modern Maids of Honor spur the men on in their Gatecrash Games, be the brides’ right hand woman and keep things moving smoothly. But that doesn’t mean that it’s any less stressful than a kidnapping. You’ve got a whole wedding to deal with!
Who Is the Maid of Honor?
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Let’s start from the beginning. The Maid of Honor oversees the pre-wedding events and leading the each bridesmaid. This is applies throughout the planning process and on the day itself. A bride normally picks her sister, a close female relative, or childhood friend.
That being said, she could have picked you for any number of reasons!
Particularly during this pandemic, the Maid of Honor comes in especially handy. Who knows what laws and restrictions might keep her from the dream day she envisioned? As her Maid of Honor, you’d have helped her postpone or make changes to her event.
Who Should Be Chosen?
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This is a tough one because there really isn’t a right answer. With the Maid of Honor, the bond should always come first. But, we will lay out the traditions and you can decide to follow them at your discretion.
Traditionally, a bride asks her sister or her closest female friend to be the Maid of Honor. Otherwise, the bride may choose someone she trusts to be the Maid of Honor. The bride will typically match the level of responsibility with the abilities of the appointee.
Can a Man Fill the Role?
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We’ve seen this question a lot and well… the short answer is “yes”.
It all depends on who the bride trusts with her special day. Additionally, who’s to say that a man isn’t the brides’ Maid of Honor? Whomever the bride chooses to appoint as her Maid of Honor is entirely her decision.
Despite this flipping the script on traditionally-gendered roles, there is no harm in it! Perhaps the bridal shower or bachelorette party could use a mans’ delicate touch!
Maid of Honor Duties Before the Wedding Day
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Make no mistake, a lot of planning and groundwork goes into making a wedding work! The couple, the Best Man and the Maid of Honor are like the executive committee. No man is an island but sometimes, the work needs to be divided!
In lieu of that, let’s take a look at some of the responsibilities of a Maid of Honor before the day!
1.Be There for The Bride
Everything from the wedding planning process to helping with invitations. You’ll get your hands on it all. Depending on the bride, she may want you to handle the bulk of pre-wedding responsibilities. Or you’ll be there to offer a helping hand and an ear to listen.
Optimistically, you’ll just be managing a wedding planner who will take care of most of it.
2. Go Shopping
In all likelihood, the bride will ask the Maid of Honor to accompany her wedding dress shopping. As a word of advice, you’d better learn to love it quick! If you cannot rush perfection, then shopping for the dress will take as long as it needs to.
3. Lead the Bridal Party
The Maid of Honor is the mother hen of each bridesmaid. You are the proverbial lighthouse for any bridesmaid related questions or concerns. Get everyone on a whatsapp group and an email chain to ensure everyone is constantly in the loop.
4. Consult with your Bridesmaids
Everything from clothing to accessories, nothing leaves your sight! Ensure that their respective attire and other trappings are accounted for on time. Other related tasks include coordinating hair and makeup appointments, travel, and accommodations.
5. Be a point person for guests
Fortunately, you will never do this alone. The Bride and Groom will help where they can. But you are still someone the general crowd will rely on. Wedding guests have endless questions about everything. Create a mental FAQ sheet or put it on the couple’s website.
6. Host or co-host the bridal shower
One of the most important Maid of Honor duties is hosting the bridal shower. You ought to recruit the help of your bridesmaids. In short, you’ll have to know where you’re celebrating, with whom and at what time.
Delegate some of the responsibilities to the rest of the bridal party. Dietary restrictions, proper venue selection and a proper itinerary are all things you must know and have. On the day, the Maid of Honor ought to record the gifts received so the bride can write thank you notes.
7. Plan the bachelorette party
Second to the Bridal Shower, the Maid of Honor mustplan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids. It can be as wild as a destination bachelorette party. Or you can make it something closer to home and more intimate.
Although, COVID seems to have put a damper on travelling so stick to something local.
8. Attend Pre-Wedding Events
Although the Maid of Honor doesn’t usually plan the pre-wedding events, she’s normally there. So don’t go sneaking off! These events include the engagement party, rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner.
9. Help the Bride and Bridesmaids Get Dressed
No, they aren’t 5 years old. But arguably, the entire bridal party has a more complicated get up than a onesie. Ensure to help the bride first! Then help the rest of the bridal party in the bridal suite. You want to ensure everyone look good in those wedding day candids!
10. The Couples’ Messenger
If the couple believes its bad luck to see each other before the ceremony, you’re in luck. You’ll be the courier exchanging love notes or gifts on the day of. If it’s something you desperately want to get out of, shove it off to the Groomsmen. It’s not recommended. But, it is funny.
Maid of Honor Duties on the Wedding Day: Ceremony
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Okay, all the prep is done, and all your ducks are in a row. It’s time to get the main event started! Some argue that the hardest part is over, and some argue that the stakes are at their highest. All you need to remember is that you’re here for the brides' special day.
So here are 10 things you’ll definitely be doing on the big day itself!
1. Walk Down the Aisle
You’ll actually be getting some spotlight when this happens. The Maid of Honor will walk down the aisle with the Best Man. You’ll make the walk after the bridesmaids. Following you will be the flower girl, ring bearer, and the bride.
2. Arrange the Bride’s Train and Veil
Once the bride arrives to the altar, take a second to make the veil look camera ready. She’ll thank you when the photographer gets back to her. Just make sure you don’t yank on anything!
3. Hold the Bride’s Bouquet
The bride only needs it as she’s walking down the aisle. Once she’s at the alter you should be responsible for holding both yours and hers. The bridal bouquet can be heavy. If you must, ask a bridesmaid to help you.
4. Hold the Groom’s Ring
If there is no ring bearer, the best man will hold the bride’s wedding band. Likewise, the Maid of Honor holds the groom’s band until the rings are exchanged. Please for the sake of the wedding, don’t drop or lose them!
5. Sign the Marriage License as a Witness
After the ceremony, the officiant and the newlyweds will sign the marriage license. Two witnesses are required to sign the license. It is often the Maid of Honor and Best Man take on the role of these witness.
6. Be with the Groom at the Receiving Line
This is not a common practice. But, if there is a receiving line, the Maid of Honor stands next to the groom. All you have to do is smile wide and greet guests as they enter the reception.
7. Enter the Reception
When the emcee introduces the wedding party members, the Maid of Honor arrives with the Best Man. To make things fun, you can arrange to do a stylish entrance or simply saunter in. The choice is yours.
But c’mon, you were critical to making all this happen. Throw a little something on!
8. Help Bustle the Bride’s Train
Before everything kicks off, you need to learn how to do this. Bustling the bride’s gown keeps her dress’ train clean and make her dress more comfortable to dance in. As we all know, white is a notoriously easy colour to get dirty.
9.Help the Bride Use the Toilet
Need I say more?
10. Play host
During the wedding, just as before, guests will ask questions during the event. Assist the guests to their seat and notify them of the flow of events if you must. Better still, place all this information online and on site in a clear, visible location.
But Your Most Important Duty…
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Cherish the experience.
This is her once in a lifetime moment and she wanted to share it with you! What that means is that of all the people she chose to make memories with, she chose you. The word “honor” is in your title for a reason.
So, don’t be afraid to yelp, scream and cheer as the bride ties the knot. Don’t be afraid to throw your arms around her and cheers to the times ahead. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to continue being there for her.